Friday, March 09, 2012

On Being a Parent - Part 1

DC will turn 7 months soon, how time flies!

After a very chaotic 4 months before finally settling into a schedule, I can finally sit back and reflect for a moment how is it like being a parent.

{I'm putting in a Part #, just in case I have more reflection post in future}

The Parent Manual 
There is only that much you can learn on being a parent if you rely on books alone. Books and articles from the internet usually touches on common topic or technical know-hows (e.g. how to soothe a crying baby). It is very helpful in most cases, but I realised every baby is different. I do noticed DC has a different character as compared to another baby. It is up to me - the parent - to learn and understand her behaviour and character before we act accordingly.

Sharing is Caring
It is of great comfort that I have friends who are already mothers. I can look to them for opinion or to get information as they may have the experience of handling that particular situation. Sharing of experiences also help me be a more confident mother.

Love Thy Husband
I hear many mothers saying that their child is number one priority, husband is second or none. I disagree with this mindset. While our baby is very important, we should not ignore our husband too. They are also baby's father and if we keep ignoring our husband, there is a possibility that relationship may be strained. A strained relationship is not good for baby. They observe us and our behaviour, and if we keep maintaining the negative relationship between husband and wife, we are also giving wrong picture to our baby. I must always keep this in mind. 

Of course, there are things which I think my husband can do on his own - such as changing TV channels or cooking Maggi mee - no need me to do for him!

Love Thy Self
I fell sick four times since Dec'11 and it was not a pretty sight. During all occasions I was down with the flu. Not only I was too weak to take care of myself, I was too tired to take care of baby too. In addition, my breastmilk supply dropped like crazy and I have to put in extra effort to get it back to its original volume.

Recently I was also felt that I was becoming depressed and had a hard time telling my husband about this. In fact, I haven't even spoke to him on how I feel because there is some sense of guilt telling him my problems when he have his own problems at work. So sometimes I just cry it out, and release it by pouring out my thoughts and once done, never look back again. It is not the best way but it so far it works for me.

Need to always make sure that I am in tip-top shape (physically, mentally and emotionally) so I can continue to support the family.

Planning, Planning, Planning
Ever since DC was born, whatever I do, I have to take into consideration her nap/feeding time. In these instances, DC become number one priority. As a result, we have to plan ahead with buffer to ensure all goes smoothly. There were couple of occasions where we took a chance and brought her out knowing it is her bedtime. Boy, do we suffer the consequences as she did not want to sleep after that!

Lifelong Learning Experience
DC is only 6 months coming to 7, yet there's so much things to learn on raising a child! Can't imagine the journey we have to take for many, many more years to come! I wonder how does Oka-san feel when bringing us up to where we are today...

I'm sure there will be more thoughts and reflection coming along the way later...

1 comment:

Lilium said...

I think all parents have their own problem. I am one of them too..not smooth sailing all the way. The only thing is my hubby will notice that I have a sudden behavioural change and he will observe to ensure that he wasn't over sensitive. He will confront me once he is sure that I am not who I am and asked me what is wrong.

Just like you, I don't want to tell him things too but at the end of the day, it will make the relationship bad. I will end up crying too every time he confronted me. So try to talk to your hubby if possible. There's no right or wrong in trying to be a good parents to your kids.